<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!--Generated by Squarespace Site Server v4.1.2 (http://www.squarespace.com/) on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:48:58 GMT--><rdf:RDF xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:rss="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:admin="http://webns.net/mvcb/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:cc="http://web.resource.org/cc/"><rss:channel rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/"><rss:title>Jay Michaels' Fun Break of the Day</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/</rss:link><rss:description></rss:description><dc:language>en-US</dc:language><dc:date>2008-07-04T05:48:58Z</dc:date><admin:generatorAgent rdf:resource="http://www.squarespace.com/">Squarespace Site Server v4.1.2 (http://www.squarespace.com/)</admin:generatorAgent><rss:items><rdf:Seq><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/7/2/the-hilarious-dr-forgot-new-episodes.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/20/please-read-and-pass-this-along.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/20/woman-who-died-while-watching-tv-sat-unfound-for-42-years.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/18/the-fern-and-the-bamboo.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/5/31/space-shuttle-and-hi-tech-auto-repair.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/14/gentle-thoughts-for-today.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/6/a-16th-century-monks-take-on-life-and-the-universe.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/5/thought-of-the-day.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/2/why-why-why.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/3/9/make-money-while-sleeping-no-joke.html"/></rdf:Seq></rss:items></rss:channel><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/7/2/the-hilarious-dr-forgot-new-episodes.html"><rss:title>The Hilarious Dr. Forgot - New Episodes</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/7/2/the-hilarious-dr-forgot-new-episodes.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-07-02T20:25:56Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>(1)</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div><span id="title">Dr. Forgot Episode 2 The Professor and the Mexican  Restaurant <hr size="1" /> Dr. Forgot talks about his favorite tea, Makino Green Tea, which he brought with  him to enjoy with a meal at his favorite Mexican Restaurant. </span></div> <div><a href="http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3012192/8606814">http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3012192/8606814</a></div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div><span id="title"><strong>Tags:</strong> vegas satire humor dr forgot andy nixon  satirist humorist buzz columnist feature writer mexican restaurant makino green  tea food</span></div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>(2)</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div><img style="width: 120px; height: 90px; float: left;" id="thumb" src="http://www.tubemogul.com/img.php?id=7096&url=1214958637-7096-DrForgotMakinoGreenTea050708.wmv-1.jpg" /><br clear="all" /></div> <div><span id="title">Dr Forgot Discusses Makino Green Tea <hr size="1" /> Dr. Forgot once again extols the virtues of Makino Green Tea among other  things.<br clear="all" /><br clear="all" /><strong>Tags:</strong> vegas satire humor dr forgot  andy nixon blogger satirist humorist buzz columnist feature writer mexican  restaurant makino green tea food guatemala university pharmacist  program</span></div> <div><a href="http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3011091/8604479">http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3011091/8604479</a></div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>(3)</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div><img style="width: 120px; height: 90px; float: left;" id="thumb" src="http://www.tubemogul.com/img.php?id=7096&url=1214957986-7096-VideoDrForgotJaguar063008.wmv-1.jpg" /><br clear="all" /><br clear="all" /><span id="title">Dr.  Forgot Episode 2 The Professor and the Jaguar</span></div> <div> <hr size="1" /> </div> <div>Dr. Forgot shows off his meticulously maintained vintage Jaguar. In this  Episode, the professor and a friend are dissappointed that their favorite  omelette place had closed at 3 in the afternoon. <br clear="all" /><br clear="all" /><strong>Tags:</strong> vegas satire humor dr forgot andy nixon satirist humorist  buzz columnist feature writer jaguar classic</div> <div><a href="http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3010843/8604012">http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3010843/8604012</a></div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>&nbsp;</div>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/20/please-read-and-pass-this-along.html"><rss:title>Please read and pass this along</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/20/please-read-and-pass-this-along.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-06-20T23:24:22Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> Please read and pass this along. </p> <p> Thank you </p> <p> Michael DeSimone </p> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td> <p><strong> DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS? </strong> </p> <p> <br /> <strong> I SURE DIDNT TILL NOW </strong> </p>  <p> <br /> Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death! </p>   <p> <br /> Make a personal reflection about this..... </p>   <p> <br /> Very interesting, read until the end..... </p> <p> <br /> It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): </p>   <p> <br /> 'Be not deceived; God is not mocked: </p> <p> <br /> for whatsoever a man sow, </p>     <p> <br /> that shall he also reap.<br /><br /> Here are some men and women<br /><br /> who mocked God : </p>      <p> <br /> <strong> John Lennon (Singer):</strong><br /><br /> Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said: </p>  <p> <br /> 'Christianity will end, it will disappear. </p>  <p> <br /> I do not have to argue about<br />that. I am certain. </p>  <p> <br /> Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him' (1966). </p>  <p> <br /> Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times. </p>   <p> <br /> <strong> Tancredo Neves </strong><strong> (President of Brazil ):</strong><br /><br /> During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. </p>  <p> <br /> Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died. </p> <br />  <p> <br /> <strong> Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):</strong><br /><br /> During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), </p> <br />    <p> <br /> while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:'God, that's for you.'<br /><br /> He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner. </p>       <p> <br /> <strong> The man who built the Titanic</strong><br /><br /> After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.<br /><br /> With an ironic tone he said:<br /><br /> 'Not even God can sink it' </p>  <p> <br /> The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic </p>         <p> <br /> <strong> Marilyn Monroe </strong><strong> (Actress)</strong><br /><br /> She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.<br /><br /> He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.<br /><br /> After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:<br /><br /> 'I don't need your Jesus'. </p>  <p> <br /> A week later, she was found dead in her apartment </p> <br /> <br />  <p> <br /> <strong> Bon Scott </strong><strong> (Singer)</strong><br /><br /> The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: </p> <p> <br /> 'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'. </p>  <p> <br /> On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit. </p>    <p> <br /> <strong> Campinas </strong><strong> (IN 2005)</strong><br /><br /> In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend..... </p> <p> <br /> The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: </p>  <p> <br /> 'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.' </p> <p> <br /> She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full ' </p>     <p> <br /> Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died,<br /><br /> the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.<br /><br /> The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken </p>   <p> <br /><strong> Christine Hewitt</strong> (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer) <br />said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written. </p> <br /> <br />   <p> <br /> In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.<br /> <br /> Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. </p>   <p> <br /> Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. </p>   <p> <br /> <strong> 'Jesus' </strong></p>   <p> <br /> PS: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. <br />So are you going to have courage to send this?. </p>     <p> <br /> I have done my part, Jesus said<br /><br /> 'If you are embarrassed about me,<br /><br /> I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'<br /><br /> You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!<br /><br /> I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!! </p> <p> <br /> 'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.' </p> <p> <br /> Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}.You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you.</p><p>***** PLEASE USE THE EMAIL LINK BELOW TO SEND TO A FRIEND *****&nbsp;</p> </td></tr></tbody></table>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/20/woman-who-died-while-watching-tv-sat-unfound-for-42-years.html"><rss:title>Woman Who Died While Watching TV Sat Unfound for 42 Years</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/20/woman-who-died-while-watching-tv-sat-unfound-for-42-years.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-06-20T01:18:35Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="ghostTags"> 		<a title="Click here to read more posts tagged MORBID" href="http://gizmodo.com/tag/morbid/" class="topTag" id="tag_5017621">Morbid</a> 	</div> 			<h1><a href="http://gizmodo.com/5017621/woman-who-died-while-watching-tv-sat-unfound-for-42-years">Woman Who Died While Watching TV Sat Unfound for 42 Years</a></h1> 		    	<!--
 google_ad_section_start --> 	 			 <p><img style="display: block;" class="center" src="http://gizmodo.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2008/06/skeleton3.jpg" />Hedviga Golik made herself a cup of tea and sat down to watch some television in her hometown of Zagreb, Croatia. Sadly, she died in her chair. This was in 1966. She was just found, 42 years later, in her time capsule mausoleum where she's been sitting ever since. She never finished her tea.</p> <p>What's absurd is that she was in fact reported missing, but somehow no one ever checked her apartment, which leads me to believe no one checked anywhere. I mean, where else do you look for someone when they're missing? I don't understand it. Her neighbors apparently just assumed she moved out of her apartment, and she was finally found when the police broke in to figure out who owned the place.</p> <p>A police spokesman said: &quot;When officers went there, they said it was like stepping into a place frozen in time. The cup she had been drinking tea from was still on a table next to the chair she had been sitting in and the house was full of things no one had seen for decades. Nothing had been disturbed for decades, even though there were more than a few cobwebs in there.&quot;</p> <p>Well, that's unsettling. [<a href="http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/2008/05/16/woman-sat-dead-in-front-of-tv-for-42-years-86908-20419070/">DailyRecord</a>; <a href="http://3dtrue.com/gallery/26.html">img</a>]</p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/18/the-fern-and-the-bamboo.html"><rss:title>The Fern and the Bamboo</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/6/18/the-fern-and-the-bamboo.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-06-18T23:08:43Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">The Fern and the Bamboo.....</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">One day I decided to quit....</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">I quit my job, my relationship, my Spirituality...</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">I wanted to quit my life.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'God,' I said.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'Can You give me one good reason not to quit?'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">His answer surprised me...</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'Look around,' He said.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'Yes,' I replied.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">them. I gave them light.&nbsp; I gave them water.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">floor. Nothing came from the bamboo seed.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">But I did not quit on the bamboo.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">bamboo.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">He said. 'In the third year, there was still nothing from</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">the bamboo seed.&nbsp; But I would not quit.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">the bamboo seed.&nbsp; But I would not quit.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">He said. 'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant.&nbsp; But </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">It had spent the five years growing roots.&nbsp; Those roots made it strong </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">and gave it what it needed to survive.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">I would not give any of My creations a challenge it could not handle.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">He said to me. 'Did you know, My child, that all this time</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?&nbsp; I </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">would not quit on the bamboo.&nbsp; I will never quit on you.&nbsp; Don't compare </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">yourself to others.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">He said. 'The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">both make the forest beautiful.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'Your time will come', God said to me. ' You will rise high!'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'How high should I rise?' I asked.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'How high will the bamboo rise?'&nbsp; He asked in return.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'As high as it can?' I questioned.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">'Yes.' He said, 'Give Me glory by rising as high as you can.'</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">help you see that God will never give up on you... Never regret a day </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">in your life.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;"><br /></span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Good days give you Happiness.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Bad days give you Experiences.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Both are essential to life.</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Keep going...</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Happiness keeps you Sweet,</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Trials keep you Strong,</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Sorrows keep you Human,</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Failures keep you Humble,</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Success keeps You Glowing,</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">But Only God keeps You Going!</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">Have a great day! The Son is shining!!</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">God is so big He can cover the whole world with His Love, and so small </span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">He can curl up inside your heart</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;">&nbsp;</span></font></tt></pre><pre style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"><tt><font size="2" face="Courier New" color="black" style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black;"> </span></font></tt></pre>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/5/31/space-shuttle-and-hi-tech-auto-repair.html"><rss:title>Space Shuttle and Hi-tech Auto Repair</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/5/31/space-shuttle-and-hi-tech-auto-repair.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-05-31T23:11:34Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong> Space Shuttle and Hi-tech Auto Repair </strong></p> <p> The Space Shuttle was just launched successfully. It has a payload for the Space Station. Seems like the toilet broke in the Space Station and some plumbing has to be shipped long distance &ndash; very long distance. Gas prices for your puddle jumper might be at record levels but can you imagine the cost to get the, uh, gas problem fixed in outer space? </p> <p> NASCAR racing champ George &ldquo;GT Tallas can&rsquo;t solve the Space Station&rsquo;s gas problems but he&rsquo;s come up with a novel way to ease your pain at the pump. Free gas! Every other week George is giving away $ 100 for free gas. No puzzles to do, no boxtops, bottle-bottoms, wrappers, or labels to collect, just free gas money for stopping by and signing up. To find out where to go for free gas money visit: <a href="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/vegas-coupon-news/">http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/vegas-coupon-news/</a> </p> <p> Dr forgot </p> <p> <a href="http://drforgot.blogspot.com/">http://drforgot.blogspot.com</a> </p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/14/gentle-thoughts-for-today.html"><rss:title>Gentle Thoughts for Today</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/14/gentle-thoughts-for-today.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-04-14T16:07:27Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="ArwC7c ckChnd" id="1epx"><div>Gentle Thoughts for Today-- <br /></div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.&nbsp; </div> <p>When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.&nbsp; </p> <p>A penny saved is a government oversight. </p> <p>The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.&nbsp; </p> <p>The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.&nbsp; </p> <p>The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement&nbsp;&nbsp; .</p> <p>He who hesitates is probably right. </p> <p>If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.&nbsp; </p> <p>The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. </p> <p>There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt . </p> <p>Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'&nbsp; </p> <p>Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.</p> <p>The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.</p> <p>Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. <br />I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.</p> <p>When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.</p> <div>You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. <br /></div> <div>One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.<br /></div> <div>Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft<br />Today, it's called golf <br />&nbsp;</div> </div>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/6/a-16th-century-monks-take-on-life-and-the-universe.html"><rss:title>A 16th century monk's take on life and the universe</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/6/a-16th-century-monks-take-on-life-and-the-universe.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-04-06T06:17:30Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>A 16th century monk's take on life and the universe. Remembering it from time to time has given me strength. -- Ed.<br /> </strong></p> <p><strong> &quot;Desiderata&quot; </strong></p><p> <br /><em> Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. </em></p><p><em> <br /><em> If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. </em></em></p><p><em><br /><em> Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. </em></em></p><p><em><br /><em> Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. </em></em></p><p><em><br /><em> You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. </em></em></p><p><em><br /><em> With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. </em></em></p><p><em><br /><em> Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. </em> </em> </p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/5/thought-of-the-day.html"><rss:title>Thought of the Day</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/5/thought-of-the-day.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-04-05T00:46:16Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="sizeGreater60">&quot;Life is drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.&quot;</span></p><p><span class="sizeGreater60">-- Samuel Butler&nbsp;</span></p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/2/why-why-why.html"><rss:title>Why, Why, Why</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/4/2/why-why-why.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-04-02T18:22:00Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><em>Some tough questions, but no answers.&nbsp;</em></div><div><strong><em>&nbsp;</em></strong></div><div><strong><em>Why, Why, Why</em></strong> </div><div>&nbsp;</div> <div>do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are  getting dead? </div> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not  enough money? </p> <p>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but  check when you say the paint is wet? </p> <p>Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? </p> <p>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? </p> <p>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? </p> <p>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a  revolver at him? </p> <p>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? </p> <p>Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? </p> <p>If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? </p> <p>Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are  always white? </p> <p>Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? </p> <p>Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something  new to eat will have materialized? </p> <p>Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum  cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the  vacuum one more chance? </p> <p>Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? </p> <p>How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? </p> <p>When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping  cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'&nbsp; Well, it  isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?' </p> <p>Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the  table you always manage to knock something else over? </p> <p>In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we  complained about the heat? </p> <p>How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? </p> <p>And my FAVORITE...... <br />The statistics on sanity are that one out of every  four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three  best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.</p><p>Thanks and a Tip 'o the fun break hat to Gary in Las Vegas for this contribution!</p><p>&nbsp;(Jay Michaels' Fun Break of the Day)<br /></p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/3/9/make-money-while-sleeping-no-joke.html"><rss:title>Make Money While Sleeping - No Joke!</rss:title><rss:link>http://vegasnews.squarespace.com/jay-michaels-fun-break-of-the-/2008/3/9/make-money-while-sleeping-no-joke.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Jerry Wilson</dc:creator><dc:date>2008-03-09T04:03:31Z</dc:date><dc:subject></dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<a target="_blank" href="http://rsanv.com/Duvet_Dollars/">The new day-job killer that's all the rage!</a>]]></content:encoded></rss:item></rdf:RDF>